We are so not cooking!!

When I first wrote this segment (sometimes I write and save and then paste when get to the internet.) I was feeling so proud of myself because I had cooked a really good meal. At that point it was titled 'Now we're cooking'. You will notice the change of title and get the idea. Tonight's supper actually went into the garbage and the kids ate KD. I had chocolate cake. I used to think I could cook. I could throw together a nice meal that was totally edible and even earn myself a few compliments from time to time. You too, right? Well, I have learned that I only know how to follow a recipe; maybe create something yummy after reading a few recipes; and I know what tastes good with what. I’ve decided that is not really knowing how to cook. I am having to learn how to cook here in Belize. Firstly, you north American cooks start by going to the grocery store and picking up whatever ingredients you may need for a week or two worth of meals. Here in Belize, you check out the Chinese store and find something that looks somewhat familiar and may be useful but you’re not sure since the label and directions are in Spanish. (also how can you be expected to know the difference between coconut water, coconut milk, coconut cream and cream of coconut - therein lies the problem with tonight's meal. These are not interchangeable!) You fill your ‘cart’ (in quotes because they are roughly the size of the ‘shopper in training’ carts you find at your grocery store) with a bunch of these vaguely familiar items. Filling your ‘cart’ means parking it at the end of each aisle while you run up and down it picking up stuff. The carts don’t actually fit down the aisles. If you need eggs you get a plastic bag from the Chinese guy and buy what you need. You shop and buy by the ‘one’ in Belize not by the carton or bag or whatever. Now comes the scary part. You need meat. First think: ‘when was the last power outage and how long did it last?’ ‘Have they had a delivery since then?’ If all answers are favorable you head down the ‘freezer aisle’. The freezer aisle defined is the three rusted out deep freezers stuffed in the middle of one of the aisles. You steel yourself and open the first one. Peek in. Do you recognize the meat? Is there a label with a name you know? No? Then move to the next freezer. Stew meat is good (has to cook for at least 8 hours but definitely can be used) and so is chicken. One day I decided I would make a roast chicken for a treat. I won’t do that again. I, foolishly, thought that the innards would have been separated from the chicken BEFORE freezing. Now I stick to breasts. I still have to debone, deskin and finish the defeathering but the meat is nice after you chop off the bloody parts. (I just realized that some of you are coming to visit and will probably, now, be on a strict vegan diet while you’re here. I can’t cook for that so you may be on your own!) But I digress. You buy your meat and pseudo-familiar items. Notice anything missing? Right, fruits and veggies! (No smart remarks. ‘fruits’ is so a word. It’s kriol) For these you must go to the fruits and veggies guy up the road. He sells his wares out of what can, optimistically, be described as an open, non-airconditioned shack. The best selection is to be had before 10:00 am before the heat and flies get to the produce. There are onions, cucumbers, carrots and potatoes as well as a vast assortment of unknowns in the veggie boxes, and tons of pineapples and papaya’s on the shelves. Sometimes there are grapes and once in a while apples but these are very expensive. Again you buy by the one not the bag or pound. At home you realize that you have no idea how to make a meal out of this odd assortment of things. (I once made the mistake of thinking I could put cheese on almost anything and make it edible – you know you do it! Well, the cheese here isn’t edible and therefore is not helpful to meals. We are becoming lovers of ‘plastic’ cheese – the packaged slices we avoid at home) You also realize that you only have enough for about two days which is OK because nothing keeps longer than that anyway. We have had some very … interesting and pretty yukky meals but I think I’m finally getting the hang of it. (HA! That's what I THOUGHT!) You don’t need veggies to make a meal – substitute fruits. Coconut milk is a staple and fixes lots of things from baking to veggies to meat (avoid cream of coconut!). Meat has to thaw for at least 24 hours in the fridge (because of the heat and humidity you don’t take the shortcuts we are used to) so you have to think ahead. Also, to move past the problems of power outages, order your meat from the guy with the meat truck. The meat is safer and cleaner. Beans are available everywhere and are very versatile. Again with the thinking ahead, though, they have to soak over night and then be boiled for 10 hours or so to soften them. On the plus side, I have a stove. Some of the best cooks I have met here, and there are quite a few, cook over an open flame in the yard. If I added that in, I’d have to hire a chef and be the laughing stock of Hopkins. Thank Heaven for stoves!!! And for friendly locals. Tomorrow I start wandering the streets like a beggar asking for recipes. The sad thing is that I may have to go through all this again in reverse when I get back to Canada.