Mom and Dad are here visiting and we decided to take a weekend and go up to Orange Walk to the ruins at
Lamanai. Good idea, no? I searched the net and my tourist books and found a nice looking lodge close by:
Lamanai Outpost Lodge. Early Friday morning we loaded up the Tahoe and headed out with our computer directions in hand. That would be when the fun began. We were doing great until we were north of Belize City and began to rely on the directions. They went like this:
Zero your odometer at the toll bridge - check if in kilometers or milesEasy enough so far. We would be working in kilometers. (so in the interest of blog space, I will ignore the 'mile' directions)
0.8 turn left at Guinea Grass JunctionAgain, so far so good.
7.5 entering Guinea Grass Village7.5 kilometers? Are you sure? Alfred is sure we are already in the village and it's only 5 km. I am still
optimistic and am sure they mean 7.5 to the centre of the village. (Alfred points out 'it says entering'. Ya - still ...)
12.9 sharp right hand bendHard to miss that but, unless there is another one that we missed, we are at about 15 km. So we decide maybe the mileage is just out by about 2 km. Last time it was 2 km late now it's 2 km early. Maybe the directions are sort of +/-?
13 turn left if going to Lamanai Outpost Lodge boat landing - do not turn left if you are going to the lodge - you are now entering the Mennonite town of ShipyardGood thing we are going straight to the lodge. Did anyone see that left hand turn? No? Oh well, we are supposed to go straight anyway. We are definitely in Shipyard. There are people in costume driving horses and buggies everywhere.
By now my Mom keeps asking 'What's the next clue?'
16 passing Mennonite store on the right hand sideThere's the store. We are doing very well. We have stopped asking Alfred for the odometer reading. He just gets snippy when we tell him he's wrong.
19 T junction - turn left24.7 narrow culvert followed by road to the right - go straight ahead, do not turn rightProblem. There was definitely no T junction at 19 km. We do see the narrow culvert with the road to the right and we go
straight, not right, just like we are told. We must have just naturally taken that left without noticing. That happens, right?
34.2 crossing T junction. Go straight ahead. Do not turn right.There's the T junction and we go straight. Yes!! We're doing great. WAIT!! Why has the road ended??? We are at a T junction. Maybe we should be three 'clues' back. We have to break down and ask Alfred for the odometer reading. 21. We are definitely three 'clues' back. Turn left! Good thing all the other 'clues' said 'go straight'!
Back on track. Straight at the narrow culvert. (not right) Straight at the T junction. (not right)
35.1 3 way junction. Turn left. Do not go straight aheadWhat is the difference between a 3 way junction and a T junction? While we are debating this dilemma, Alfred turns left. Wait! What is the odometer reading? Did the clue say to turn left there? Alfred, it turns out, has had enough of clues all together and has followed a sign instead. It said '
Lamanai Outpost Lodge' and was followed by a left arrow. He votes we do away with the clues but the rest of us are kinda into the whole treasure hunt thing. Besides there are only two more clues. Then, maybe we get a treasure.
39.3 entrance to Indian Church Village - go straight ahead, do not turn right40 Lamanai Outpost Lodge parking lot.Here's where we finally get lost. Alfred cannot tell where the parking lot is and ends up driving into the lodge grounds where he's not supposed to be. The staff are very kind about it and tell us to move it later. First come in and relax and have a cool drink.
After the trip we've had, this sounds like a great idea. Our treasure! So we go in, sit down and discuss the tour options with the
concierge as we enjoy our drinks. Brynn is being very rude. She keeps trying to talk to me while I am trying to listen to the guy explain about the tours and help us decide what to do for the weekend. Finally Alfred takes care of that and Brynn quits talking. Now Alfred is trying to talk to me. What is going on with these guys? Finally, Alfred touches my arm and says 'don't drink any more'. Turns out we were guzzling down rum punch. Brynn was the only one that heard the waitress. Now Alfred and I are both a little woozy and sick.
I don't think I've ever heard Mom, Dad, Brynn and Kori laugh so hard!! After all this, we had a fantastic weekend. The lodge was amazing as were the guides. There was so much to do and see. Howler monkeys everywhere. Beautiful place. Definitely has our recommendation - just be careful of the complimentary drinks!